Have you ever been told this?
Has anyone ever disbelieved you?
You were telling the truth, yet someone said, ‘I don’t believe you.’.
What does that feel like?
Well, I’ll tell what it feels like from my angle.
It hurts, it makes me upset, it makes me angry, it makes me think I can’t trust anyone, and neither can anyone else. It removes my confidence and makes me suspicious of everyone.
The story behind this post comes from my experience as a diner who happens to have a health condition that severely restricts my diet, so here we are.
One day, I was out for dinner with some good friends. Because of my restricted diet, I had called ahead, had ‘that conversation’ with the manager, and we had chosen that restaurant because my friend had eaten there before, safely, with Coeliac disease.
It is unfortunate that some of my allergens are not included in the list of notifiable ingredients, so we had to have a different conversation.
It went as follows:-
Me: “Please can I see your allergen information?”
Eye-rolling and sighing, “I’ll have to get you the tablet, wait a minute.”
Handing me the tablet, “You have to read this first, and check the box at the bottom.”
Me: “I asked for your allergen information, are you telling me I can’t see it until I have checked the box?”
Sigh, takes the tablet back, scrolls down the 2 pages of blurb and ‘disclaimers’, checks the box and hands back the tablet. “There you are, just scroll down to the meals you want to know about, and it will tell you what’s in it. I’m not allowed to tell you anything, it’s all on there.”
Me: “I need to ask about some other ingredients, please. I’m allergic to gluten, oats, milk, egg, fish, crustaceans, molluscs, peanuts, nuts, and soya, which are on the list, but also pineapple, fresh cracked black pepper, beef, and chilli. I would like the carvery. I know to avoid the beef (obviously), but what are the roast potatoes cooked in, and are any of my other allergens in any of the glazes?”
Server: “Oh you’re having me on. You can’t be allergic to all them foods, you’re winding me up!”
Me: “I am perfectly serious. I cannot eat any of those foods.”
Server: “What happens to you then, if you eat them?” This might sound like an innocent question, but what follows is not pleasant for me, my company, the server, or the surrounding customers, and I will not subject you to the details here. Suffice to say, a full description of my possible reactions was given, the manager was called, and that server did not come back to our table.
The server made it quite clear that they did not believe me, and at one point I had to remind them that they were not a medical professional, let alone an immunologist or allergy consultant, and that I was not their patient looking for a diagnosis. I had been there and done that and it took over 20 years to get my diagnosis, I wasn’t waiting that long for a meal!
What actually happened here?
I was not allowed to access the allergen information without first agreeing to their policy and disclaimers. I never agreed to it, the member of staff ‘agreed’ for me.
I was not believed that I have allergies.
I was subjected to the ‘Spanish Inquisition’ of a minion.
My friends were subjected to hearing the unpleasant details of ‘what happens if you eat that?’, as were the customers on surrounding tables whilst they were eating.
I was stared at in disbelief, made to feel unwelcome, a nuisance, that I was an inconvenience, and that I was a liar.
It took almost 45 minutes to even get to ordering our meal, then there were further trips to and from the kitchen to ‘check with the chef’.
We did have a meal, it was nice (nothing more than nice), I did not suffer any reactions, but the overall experience left me with trepidation of ever eating out again.
With my years of experience in hospitality, and my personal lived life with allergies, I can bring the solutions to making the dining experience great for both diners and the industry.
Drop me a DM
visit www.foodallergyfriends.co.uk for consultancy and training for catering
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